The Journal of a Spiritual Seeker, Healing Codependent Patterns

Hello Seekers,

Let’s talk about codependent patterns! This is legitimately one of my favorite subjects, because when I look at the imbalances in myself, and when I tune in for others, I can see the healing potential unfold. It’s not an easy journey, and there is a lot of fear and uncertainty when we begin to change these energies that connect us to other people, but in my experience, it is worthwhile work when it comes up.

And it keeps coming up! Every time I have an uncomfortable interaction or find myself triggered by something someone has said or done, I try to remember to go within and examine what I’m feeling, why I’m feeling it, and what I can learn about myself as a result. Releasing attachments to other people and their journeys, and focusing on my own instead, is an ongoing lesson in spiritual awareness.

I tend to want to blame other people for their feelings when their feelings are anything but good, lovely, harmonious reflections of what I like best about myself. This is not a balanced behavior, obviously, but it is a useful indicator of when I need to look deeper into something that I’m experiencing with someone else. What are your indicators?

A lot of our deepest imbalances in our relationships with others come from childhood, making them even harder to heal. Sometimes we don’t even recognize them because we grew up thinking certain things were just normal. These patterns predate our conscious awareness, and were reinforced by our familial relationships, so they’ve become the unconscious loops we spin through.

I always find that bringing my conscious awareness to these loops is the first step in breaking my old patterns. I also find it’s been important to bring a certain element of compassion into my heart when I am working through these issues from childhood, so I can recognize the ways my family was doing their best with what they had to offer, and forgive and release whatever imbalances might have resulted.

And then I get to decide who I want to be from there.

I say this a lot, but a great deal of who I am is the direct result of trying my best my whole life to be nothing like my father. This was the gift he gave me, and I can recognize it, and be grateful for it, and forgive him for the ways his best wasn’t very good. Who is teaching you these lessons about who you want (or don’t want) to be?

With lots of Light and Love,

Jodie

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Message from the Light, Nov. 30, 2017 (part 2)

You are tired and depressed because you’re taking on too much from others.

Let’s talk about attachment. You are still much too attached to how others are feeling. This is unhealthy and has to stop. Right now, you are concerned because you needed time alone and then you are feeling badly for needing this. But this is a very basic need and function for you — and it is not only acceptable but necessary for you to get this time. In taking better care of yourself, you are showing others more and more how to take care of themselves. This is positive for you and them.

Attachments are unhealthy in this way: You determine your well-being and self-worth based on how well the people around you are, when their well-being has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Stop taking responsibility for people and their experiences.

Accountability is different. Accountability happens when you can objectively observe what you are experiencing and assess the situation from a place of what you are meant to learn, learn it, and grow on to your next lesson and next experience. With true accountability comes an accelerated level of growth.

This past week has been difficult, but it is a part of learning the dynamic nature of balance. You didn’t throw over everything you’ve learned, you simply allowed yourself space and time to experience things that would teach you this. You’re not on deadline here. Beating yourself up for allowing space and time to experience energies that would teach you things is not productive. 

Allow the evolution of your process to happen without trying to determine where it will go. You choke off the energy when you do this. Don’t try to figure out or imagine where this will go. The reality is far more interesting and exciting than what you could imagine anyway, so just give yourself the time and space to experience the process. The steps will be thrilling as they go along.

The function of balancing the heart chakra will allow you the ability to cultivate detachment without losing compassion. You must find a way to love while allowing people the freedom to experience their own lessons. This is dynamic balance.

Regarding the work you’re doing in the third chakra: Your digestive issues are a good physical indicator of how you’re doing in this chakra. The deeper functions of the third chakra are integrating what you know from the higher chakras through to 3-D. This is the place where spirituality and physicality converge and balance in this area is very difficult for you.

Me: Why?

Because you have a history of imbalance. You’ve been a pendulum, swinging back and forth — going to extremes and becoming disappointed and disillusioned when things do not work the way you think they should. Now is the time to return to neutral.

Me: Why does this feel so hard right now? Is it physical, emotional, spiritual?

It’s some of all of those things. Your physical body is fatigued. You are tired and you are still being taught how to balance your own needs with the needs of those around you. 

You would’ve been much more successful in your endeavors in life if you’d been more aware of how important it is to take care of yourself first. Like in an airplane when they say to put your oxygen mask on first. You must learn how to maintain your own physicality and wellness before trying to make everyone else feel better.

Emotionally, you’ve been through the ringer lately, but it’s again important for you to recognize your own emotions and where they end and those belonging to others begin. Not all of this pain is yours, so not all of it is yours to bear. Let go of connections to other people’s emotions. Be compassionate without having to experience them for yourself.

Spiritually, you’re growing. It’s good. And your deepening understanding of the world around you is positive and will continue to help you in finding balance in these other places in life.

• • •

Exercise: Begin each exercise by grounding and protecting. For more information on how, see this post.

Today’s exercise is to remember to cut cords. Is there a way that you can remind yourself to do this on a regular basis? Setting a timer on your phone or putting a post-it somewhere you will see it every day might be a good way to get in the habit of cutting cords at least once a day.

This exercise can be done generally, to cut any and all cords, or specifically if you’re finding yourself attached energetically to a particular person. Cutting cords immediately after difficult interactions with friends, family members, partners or co-workers is vital and will help you feel better and have more clarity.

Basically, any time you feel drained after an interaction is a good indication there are cords that need to be cut.

One more point I want to make is that cord cutting needs to be repeated over and over and over again. Each time you do it, you’re healing the receptors within you that allowed the imbalanced flow of energy. Each time, there will be less and less places for those cords to reconnect, and these interactions will have less and less sway over how you feel. Don't cut cords once and then become disappointed the next time you’re exhausted after a difficult interaction. Just cut the cords again and move on.

Okay, here’s the way I cut cords: I ask Arch Angel Michael to cut and and all cords on every level, dimension, plane, existence, in all lifetimes and timelines. I ask Arch Angel Gabriel, Arch Angel Uriel, and Arch Angel Rafael to fill in with golden white and rose-colored light any and all places and spaces where those cords existed on every level, dimension, plane, existence, in all lifetimes and timelines. Thank you.

If it helps to visualize this process, spend as much time as you need visualizing the actual cords and seeing Arch Angel Michael with his sword of light cutting and removing any and all traces of that cord. Then see the other Arch Angels filling those spaces in with light, fortifying them and healing the energetic imbalances.

• • •

A brief note: This journal and its exercises are simply a means to help you find your own flow. There is no pressure to follow them exactly or read each and every one. It does not need to be read in order either, so if you miss one, don’t feel like you’ve failed or fallen behind. These messages are here to hold space for you as you discover and evolve within your spiritual practice.

This is the first volume of The Journal of the Spiritual Seeker, and I’m presenting it here on The Devic Connection website, serialized over the last 10 weeks of 2020, with weekly roundups via email (you can sign up in the box at the bottom of this page if you’d like to receive these.) If you’ve just arrived here and would like to start from the beginning, here’s the link to the first post.

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We all need help with clarity …

Sometimes, things come up in the healing journey that we can’t quite manage by ourselves. I’m fortunate to have people I can call on to help me gain that clarity. And I’m also in therapy, which helps immensely with processing the psychological and mental health issues. If you find yourself getting stuck on this journey or having something come up that you need some guidance on, please do seek help. An internet search can help you find a qualified mental health practitioner for those psychological issues. And if you’re looking for help from the Light on the spiritual questions, I have some availability for readings. (Read more about that here.)