Letting go of 'should' and moving into balance

- While mediating one day, I gained the understanding of how my mind harms me with all of these “shoulds.” Hard as I try, I can’t seem to let this go. So I asked my guides: why am I having such a hard time still with “shoulds.” I understand the guidance against this — or rather to let this go. But it’s still there, with a vengeance. 

* Ahramein: Your mind is working overtime trying to organize everything you’re experiencing energetically. So it keeps saying, “you should do this — or post this — or write this.” Because all of that is a part of the larger context of what you are here to do — to share what you learn.

However, it must be done in balance, and this is where meditation will help. Because the mind is necessary, but being able to shut it off is necessary, too.

As with everything, it is a case of dynamic balance.

Your mind is quite gifted at expressing energies in 3-D in ways people can understand. That is a function of the mind. Thinking of ways to share those energies and the conversion of those energies through words is a function of the mind. But also being able to tell the mind that is not what you’re doing right now and to be quiet is your right. And it is essential to your healing process.

This is about noticing at all times where the line of that dynamic balance is and continuing to walk that line instead of diving over it in either direction.

So, pay attention to your thoughts and to the times when your thoughts are taking over your process. And then stop them, watch them.

It will get easier the more you practice and the more your practice becomes intentional, but also automatic.

You’ve been given this guidance before, but it bears repeating: you need to spend time writing. You need to spend time sharing. That time needs to be slated and it needs to be a priority in your life because that is the only way to keep the energy flowing out of you. Instead it becomes backed up I you and makes you feel crazy.

It feels to you now like you don’t have the energy to do this, but the energy cost of this back up is more than what it would cost to sit down and let it flow.

- Why did I just get such an overwhelming sense of anxiety when you said that?

* A: Because this is a part of that root — of a deeper healing taking place through all your koshers. The energy that comes up here is visceral.

- It made me very nauseous and dizzy.

* A: You are experiencing a clearing that is sparked by or instigated by what was said. This is why it needed to be said again. Not only to remind you of the words, but because the energy needed to be expressed. Allow this clearing to take place.

- I feel very disappointed in myself. Like I should be able to do this without so much angst. And I recognize this “should.”

* A: These energies run quite deep. And have a lot more to do with a karmic pattern that is the result of trauma than they do with whether or not you’re disciplined enough to do a job.

- My mind is going a bit in every direction right now, because it is uncomfortable to acknowledge that part of this is about discipline also — especially because you have given me quite a bit of advice here in the past to deal with the 3-D factors that are also contributing (such as my illness and things that take a lot of energy, right now the house renovations, etc.).

* It’s one step at a time, and you need to remember that and not get too mired in expectations and outcomes. You will get to a place where things flow more naturally, and then you will have some other challenge to heal. That is how it works. So in the meantime, don’t beat yourself up for whatever time it takes to heal the stage you’re currently in. You are in the process of transforming your life on every level — and that does take time and you have made progress. Don’t judge that progress. Just accept it and continue on.

It has been a challenging year — or couple of years even. And you have grown in many ways and there are many ways in which you have yet to grow. That will always be true. But being present in that growth and discontinuing the self-defeating habit of throwing more obstacles to your growth in the way — simply surrendering to the present moment, finding gratitude for where you’re at and continuing on one step at a time — that is how you will make the most progress.

But also, you do need to find a way to share what you’re doing because you won’t feel better until you do. And the discomfort you feel in sharing is temporary whereas the discomfort you feel in not sharing is cumulative and very detrimental on many different levels. This is not judgement, just reality. 

If you drop the judgement YOU feel around this statement, then you will feel an opening for the flow. If you accept the energetic reality around the statement, that is an opening to the flow.

- Why does it continue to be so hard?

* A: For a variety of reasons that are buried in a collection of past lives. But you need to work those energies instead of allowing them to work you. This is a misunderstanding humans have about karmic energies. They do not control you — similarly your emotions do not control you. These energies are there to teach you, and in choosing to learn or not learn from them, that determines the power they have over your life and how you feel. Surrendering to the lesson without judgement and opening yourself up to what you are meant to learn — that is where truth comes in and illuminates illusion, giving you the perspective you need to complete each player of healing as it takes place.

You could share some of that today, easily. Find a picture, take a picture, whatever. Just share it and move on.

We can do this together.